This article was written by the editors at Men's Health and i found it very interesting and insightful.
Ever
wondered why some ladies cheat on their partners? Have you as the guy ever
thought of how to save your relationship if you have an issue like this at hand?
Enjoy the intriguing piece.
Is She Being
Unfaithful?
First, let
me defend the sisterhood by saying, many, many women don’t cheat. Especially
when we are in happy relationships. If we are really into a guy, we’re
loyal-from-first-kiss. Faithfulness is hardwired into our female circuitry,
like our need to cuddle and buy shoes.
Now, the
unfortunate exception: Some do. Okay, a lot do: The incidence of extramarital
intercourse for women is 25%, and the estimate of single women who have cheated
is even higher. And if a woman is going to cheat, there are surprisingly
specific times when she’s likely to do it.
Pay
attention, because even if you are sure your woman would never stray, the urge
may pop up at one of these times. Then put our advice to work, because
follow-through doesn't have to happen.
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| Birthday Sex |
- He’s Turning 25 or 30 or 35 or ...
Decade and half-decade birthdays trigger navel-gazing-figuratively, and
perhaps literally. A woman asks herself, “What have i been doing for the past 5
years?”
“She’ll think deeply about her love life and its direction, and if it’s
not going the way she planned, she might jump at the chance to correct it with
an affair”, says Don-David Lusterman, Ph.D., a psychologist and the author of
infidelity: A Survival Guide.
The incidence of birthday cheating triples in women who report being in
unhappy relationships, according to a survey by infidelity.com.
The Plan: Be there. There are two nights when
every straight woman wants a man in her bed: New Year’s Eve and her birthday.
Leave her solo and you’re giving her permission-and reason-to cheat. And
remember, birthday sex is about the birthday girl. Presents are good too.
Especially jewelry.
Women like to have projects and goals. When she reaches a milestone-say,
in her career-she may start to think, Now what? Says Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D., author
of Can We Forgive Adultery? Staying Not Straying. For her next challenge, she
may focus on another big part of her life-say, her relationship. Riding the
high of her work success, she’ll feel that goals are achievable, and she’ll be
motivated to get the rest of her life on track.
Also, women with fat salaries are more likely to cheat. A University of
Washington study found that people who earned $75,000 or more per year were 1.5
times more likely to have had extramarital sex than those earning less than
$30,000.
The plan: Brag about your woman’s promotion.
“Most guys make the mistake of not doing enough to
celebrate their girlfriends’ accomplishments,” says Scott Haltzman, M.D., a
clinical assistant professor of psychiatry and human behaviour at Brown
University. “When she sees you honouring her, she’ll feel as valued by you as
she does at work.”
Translation: She won’t look for that emotion
elsewhere-like in the marketing veep’s bed.
 |
| Talk About Her In Your Future |
Yes, it was probably her idea. But now that you are together 24-7 and
sharing every detail of your lives, there’s not as great a need to keep the
conversation flowing every minute.
“She could subconsciously interpret this as meaning that you think she’s
boring,” says Stuart Fischoff, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at California
State University at Los Angeles. “If there’s someone else around who finds her
attractive and intriguing and shows it- she might go for him instead.” (A
menshealth.com survey found that 41 percent of women who've cheated did it with
a co-worker.)
And again, with the whole goal thing-now that you've moved in together,
she’ll be thinking about the next step, such as engagement or marriage.
“Face it, most women want marriage, and they want to have children,” says
Susan Heitler, Ph.D., author of The Power of Two. “If you’re withholding either
or both, you’re inviting the risk of her turning to someone else who can make
that commitment and give her children.”
The Plan: Make it clear that you are thinking
of living together as a starting point.
Talk about the future. Talk about her in your future.
 |
| Cheating |
- She Thinks You’ve Cheated
Revenge affairs are common. Women have them in an attempt to restore
self-esteem and feel desirable again.
“It comes down to human nature,” Heitler says. “She’ll want to get even.”
She won’t necessarily go out looking to hook up, but when she’s tempted, the
fact that you’ve done it may weaken her self-control.
The plan: If you are cheating or have cheated
before, confess and apologise.
A survey conducted by Peggy Vaughan, author of The Monogamy Myth, showed
that 86 percent of couples who discussed one partner’s affair were still
married, compared with 59 percent of couples who barely talked about it.
If you’re not cheating, you have one paranoid woman on your hands. She
probably has low self-confidence. Your
job: Compliment her sincerely, specifically, and often.
“You can make her feel better about herself so she won’t become
vulnerable to these unfounded suspicions,” Fischoff says.
 |
| Get Naked |
Oxytocin, a hormone that plays a central role in our urge to bond, spikes
to levels three to five times higher than usual just before orgasm. The hormone
is more intense in females than in males, so women develop a stronger sense of
bonding through sex.
“If the two of you are not having as much sex as you used to, she might
interpret this as a sign that you don’t find her attractive and that you don’t
love her,” Fischoff says. “She may seek someone outside the relationship to
validate that she’s still sexually attractive.”
A so-so sex life could also mean you have unresolved problems between
you. Research conducted by Shirley Glass, Ph.D., author of Not Just Friends,
found that 79 percent of cheating women cited dissatisfaction in the marriage
as the cause.
The plan: Have more sex.
If she’s the one who doesn’t want sex, investigate why. Fix it. GET NAKED.
One more reason a woman might cheat: She wants to dump you. Infidelity
can break up couples, so she might cheat on purpose as an easy out.
David Buss, a Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the University of Texas
at Austin and the author of The Evolution of Desire, asked 100 men and women
which tactic they would use to get out of a bad relationship. One of the most
common answers: Start an affair.
The plan: She sucks-let her go.
You’re free!
There it is fellas. Hope you enjoyed the read as much as i did? And
most importantly, i hope you learnt a thing or two?
